my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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