i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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