I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize