I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize