O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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