not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize