I hate all girls vehemently.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize