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what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
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