coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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