She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
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I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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