so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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