you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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