I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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