yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize