so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize