tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
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making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
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the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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