Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Life is so much better after having sex.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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