I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
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As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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