He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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