don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize