I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize