ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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