Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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