I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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