Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize