My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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