I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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