So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize