I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think im going to throw up on grandma
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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