She is in my trunk
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
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when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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