Having a random hookup so left but love u
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize