3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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