Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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