i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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