You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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