Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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