she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize