I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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