Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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