WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize