it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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