Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Life is so much better after having sex.
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Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
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You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
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