i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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