she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have fence marks all over my body
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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