What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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