9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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