idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize