i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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