Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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