wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize