he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize