I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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