Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize