My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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